


There's Not A Song For This

by Ingonyama



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Celestial Peter Quill, Chubby Thor (Marvel), M/M, Thor is a Guardian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:14:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22696153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ingonyama/pseuds/Ingonyama
Summary: Post-Endgame.With everything that's happened, people have all but forgotten that time Peter met his dad and turned all-powerful for a hot minute. But something went weird after everyone was brought back from the Snap, and now what was a one-time thing...kind of isn't anymore.And there's only one other guy Peter knows who understands what this is like.
Relationships: Past Thor/Jane Foster, Peter Quill/Thor, past Peter Quill/Gamora, past Thor/Steve Rogers
Comments: 12
Kudos: 109





	1. Chapter 1

**Bardemi system**

**2024 AD**

"Quill, I can't believe you!"

Peter Quill's mouth curved into a smirk under his mustache. The Guardians were fleeing for their lives, as usual. It totally wasn't his fault, as usual. And Gamora was yelling at him. As usual.

"I'm pretty unbelievable, aren't I?" his mouth said before his brain considered that might not have been the brightest course of action.

"I am Groot..." he heard a moan behind him, and the unique sound of a teenaged tree facepalming.

"Oh, _totally_ dead," Rocket replied, and he didn't even have to look behind him to see the (not-a) raccoon's smirk.

"Not yet," Drax chimed in, "but Gamora will soon change that."

Peter gave his Greek chorus a look, but none of them seemed fazed in the slightest.

"It was a whole library planet," he said. "I didn't think they'd miss one book..."

"You _stole_ from Bardemi!" Gamora yelled. "The Planet of Tomes has some of the most stringent policies in the universe regarding the circulation of materials, and you _stole_ from them! Do you have any idea how far their authority extends?!"

"It was one book!" Peter protested, though it sounded lamer every time he said it. "Not even a book, I picked it up in their periodicals. How many billion magazines go through that place in a week?" He held up the magazine, which had life forms of many different alien races posing nude in an..artistic fashion. Males, females, and other genders Peter didn't understand yet (but boy did he want to), it was the most diverse skin rag he'd ever seen,

"The Lord of Stars picked a tasteful one, at least," the newest Guardian said with a grin. "'Tis quite a collection..." Gamora glared at him, and whatever Thor was about to say died in his throat. "...of articles. A most interesting read. Some fascinating articles in there. Truly."

"Do magazine articles often cause intense sexual feelings?" Mantis asked curiously.

"...No." Nebula said tersely, her teeth gritted like she wanted to punch someone...anyone...everyone. Which was probably true.

Drax laughed uproariously.

Before Gamora could say anything else, some evil-looking purple lasers flashed by their cockpit, and the _Benatar_ lurched.

"I am Groot!"

"You ain't kidding," Rocket said. "These bookworms got some firepower. Any more like that and we're space dust!"

"Hang on," Peter said, setting his jaw. "I'm engaging the hyperdrive."

He reached for the lever, and the space around them elongated into a rainbow-colored tunnel of warped starlight and energy.

When the universe resolved itself into a starscape again, they were at the threshold of a vast nebula. Nebula herself grinned as she saw this. "It's the Andraxi nebula," she said. "Vast enough to encompass ten star systems, and no sensors can penetrate its mass. Well done, Quill, we can hide here from the Librarians."

"I am Groot?!" Groot exclaimed incredulously. Then there was a long moment of silence as the name of their pursuers sank in.

Peter didn't know who'd started laughing first. Everyone had tried to maintain their composure as he drifted into the nebula, but then he'd seen Thor's stupidly perfect jawline quirk into a smirk, then someone behind him snorted, and it was all over. Everyone except Nebula and Gamora burst into laughter around him, the tension of their situation dissolving like smoke.

Peter himself managed a weak chuckle and a grin he hoped didn't look _too_ fake. His hand clenched into a fist above the hyperdrive lever.

He hadn't even touched it.


	2. Chapter 2

The light of the nebula outside turned Peter's quarters into a kaleidoscope of reds, purples, and oranges. It reminded him of the sunsets back on Earth, taken up to a billion.

He'd have enjoyed it more if he weren't trying not to freak out right now.

For a long time after the door closed behind him, Peter sat on his bed and stared at his hands.

_"If you kill me, you'll be just like everyone else!"_

That voice echoed in his mind over and over again. His father's last words to him.

His father's last _lie_ to him.

What had Ego been going for, then? Some final, petty act of revenge on his way out? Or had it been self-preservation? Had he really thought Peter would change his mind about killing him at that literal last second, betray his friends, sacrifice the entire universe just so he got to keep living as a grown-up child...?

Of course. That was it. Of course he had lied, of _course_ he had tried to play to the worst aspects of Peter's psyche. They were all the parts of him that were the most like Ego, after all.

 _"Well they say the sky's the limit/and to me that's really true..."_ His door chimed, and Peter winced. "Come in." His voice didn't break. _Yaaaaaay._

He'd thought it the funniest thing ever when Rocket had chosen to program the _Benatar's_ door chimes to work like the ringtones on those modern cellphones that Spider-kid had shown the Guardians back on Earth. Now it just felt like someone had busted out laughing when Old Yeller got shot...

Thor walked in, somehow still looking majestic as fuck even with all the extra weight. Every time Peter saw him, it reminded him that another five years had gone by without him, that he was even further behind the times than he had been before the Snap. The pirate-angel was taking better care of himself, his longer hair and beard were washed, braided, and styled almost immaculately, even though there sure as hell wasn't any Vidal Sassoon on the _Benatar_ \- gotta love god magic, or whatever it was that Thor used.

 _Don't think about magic,_ Peter thought irritably to himself. "Hey, Thor," he said aloud, trying to keep his voice level, stop his hands shaking. "What's up?"

"Captain Quill," Thor said, his voice somehow sounding both gentle and booming. "Lady Gamora has asked me to inform you that the enemy ships have abandoned thier hunt for the _Benatar._ "

"The Librarians, you mean?" he retorted, hoping he sounded at least a little like himself.

Thor's smirk was bright and shining. "Aye, them. Nebula surmises they believe we'll perish in this...er, nebula. Drax and the rabbit found this a fine jest."

Peter let out another chuckle. Thor's brow creased over his mismatched eyes, and the chuckle died in his throat.

"Captain...friend Peter...are you well?"

Thor moved closer, but Peter darted away. " 'm fine," he said unconvincingly. "thanks for keeping me updated..."

The Asgardian gave him a disbelieving look. "I beheld what happened, when we escaped our foes," he said. "I am no stranger to magic, and 'twas a powerful spell indeed that you cast to hie us away."

"It's called hyperdrive," Peter corrected him, "and it was technology, not magic."

"I am no fool, Peter Quill." Thor retorted. "On Asgard, we practiced both science and magic. Indeed, they're two sides of the same coin, both merely a means to an end for us. But I know the difference between the devices on board a vessel and the energies that course through a living being."

Peter tried to think of an excuse, a way out, any lie he could use to get out of this incredibly ucomfortable conversation.

I also know," Thor continued, "that different worlds see magic differently." Then, he put a hand on Peter's shoulder.

"Midgard in particular has done truly horrific things to sorcerers in the past..."

Peter's face went white.

"I'M NOT A GODDAMN _**SORCERER**_!"

He tried to shake off Thor's grip, but instead, a brilliant burst of blue energy erupted from his shoulder, blasting Thor backwards and laying the Asgardian out flat on his back. He landed with a grunt, his heterochromic eyes going wide as he suddenly found himself on the deck, staring up at Peter's ceiling.

"Oh my God!" Peter immediately rushed to his crewmate's side, as contrite now as he was enraged a moment ago. "Jesus, Thor, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that, are you okay?!"

Thor looked up at him blankly from where he lay. "If you wished me not to press the issue, you could simply have said as much," he said mildly, as though getting slapped around by his friends and crewmates was a routine occurence, _and maybe it is, Quill, what the fuck do you know?_

Peter helped the Aesir to his feet, checking him over for injuries. "Seriously, though, I am _so_ sorry. That was an accident, please..."

Thor held up a hand. "It is well, friend Peter," he said calmly, a slight smirk tugging at his bearded jaw. "Seriously, my little brother was a magician, and he _loathed_ me. I've faced far worse spells than that. Family is a complicated thing."

"Family..." Peter repeated. Suddenly he wanted to hug the big, bluff idiot.

"Aye." Thor nodded sincerely.

"If you seek to hide what you are, Captain, I'll not speak a word of it to the others...but a captain should be able to trust his crew when it counts, and this is one of those times when it very much should."

Peter sighed. "It's...a little more complicated than that." He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly unable to look the pirate-angel-god dude in the eye. "Just...please. Not yet. I'll...I'll talk to them later."

"Of course." Thor smiled. "When you're ready."

Then, he bent forward and kissed Peter's forehead. It was a quick gesture, feeling almost like a reflex, but Peter's brain short-circuited. His eyes went wide, his jaw slack. His pants felt incredibly tight - that was new.

Then, like nothing had happened, Thor gave him that devastating, dazzling smile again, and walked out, his cape trailing behind him.

As Peter watched the door close, a snatch of music from his mixtape kept going through his mind over and over again.

_"Take a run and hide yourself away..."_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wait, Thor used to date WHO?!

It had been almost a week since they'd gotten away from the Librarians.

The good news: Gamora forgave him...for that, anyway. She, Nebula, and Drax were converting part of the ship's hold into a training room, despite Rocket's repeated protests. Peter thought it was mostly a good idea - the team needed to blow off steam while they were between planets, and having a safe place to exercise and work out some frustrations was _way_ better than one of their fighty types losing their temper and knocking someone's block off. Probably his, if he was being totally honest.

Groot and Mantis were greening up the place - not in a 'leave-your-foliage-lying-around-and-blow-off-your-captain' kind of way, this was more of a potted-plants, flowers, and artificial sunshine kind of way. Groot seemed to like having something constructive to do that didn't involve breaking pieces off of himself to forge a magical superweapon, and Mantis noticed the emotional well-being of everyone else around her seemed to improve the more 'natural' things looked. Except Drax, he was sneezing all the time, but he put up with it for her sake. Peter was happy they were getting along.

It was way more than he could say for him and Gamora.

"I don't get it," he told Thor over lunch one day, a fruit salad made from hydroponic plants grown right on the _Benatar._ "I mean, she loved me. Like, _loved_ me loved me. Now it's like...she can't even stand being in the same room with me. We fight all the time now...like, _all_ the time. It's Sam and Diane all over again...worse, it's more like Sam and Rebecca." He frowned, looking out a spaceport. "Being Sam sucks."

"I may not be the best one to come to for advice in matters of love," Thor said cautiously. "Jane and I...we did not end well, and Steven..." He blanched. "Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"Stephen?" Quill's eyes widened. "You mean, like...? No. No way."

Thor swallowed. "I hope you don't think less of me."

Peter was still processing. "I mean, I had no idea he was even your _type_."

"He cut a fine figure, you must admit."

"I mean, sure, if you're into that, but you...and he..." Quill held up one finger, and then the other. "I mean, when did it even happen?"

"New York," Thor answered. "After the battle."

"You've known him that long?" Peter's brow creased. "Wait, wasn't he a dick back then?"

"A...dick?" Thor's brow creased. "I do not understand."

"I mean, I don't know him that well...obviously, I had no idea he even swung that way..." Peter fumbled. "But didn't he become...y'know..." He waved his hands in a vague manner. "...after the big fight?"

Thor felt a sneaking suspicion creep in. "Peter...?"

"But still, wow." Peter shook his head. "You and Dr. Strange. Who'da thunk?"

Thor stared at his captain for a long moment, then burst out laughing.

"What?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter goes fanfic writer. AKA the one where the story earns its 'Explicit' rating.

Peter avoided Thor for a few days after their awkward lunchtime conversation, once Thor had cleared things up and Peter had fled the mess hall in shame. This avoidance was more out of embarrassment than anything else.

_Freaking dumbass, you shoulda known he meant Captain Goddamn America! ANYONE would tap that given half a chance!_

Though now that he was hiding from Thor, Peter had to process the news about the Asgardian's past relationships alone. 

_Even thinking about it...damn._ He tugged at his collar. _The two of them together...that's actually kinda..._

Actually, it was _all_ he could think about.

~*~

Tonight, he was alone in his quarters, the door locked with a forcefield over it - the Guardians' equivalent to a Do Not Disturb sign. Everyone on the crew needed their private time, and nobody liked being barged in on...well, Drax and Thor didn't care, and Groot didn't even do it the way other species did, but everyone _else_ preferred their privacy.

And Peter Quill in particular absolutely, definitely did _not_ want anyone else in here for this.

_Been holding it in too long...gotta let it out somehow, and this...this won't hurt anyone. Right?_

His eyes shone black, seeming to hold a whole galaxy inside them, and all the while starlight seemed to coalesce in front of him.

His clothes melted away - shirt, pants, boots, underwer - leaving him in only his red coat, which he never took off unless he had to. He felt especially sexy wearing it over his naked skin.

The starlight finally came together and transformed...into a big-screen TV. On the TV, white static appeared, but then clicked into a clear, visible image as Peter fiddled with a remote that had appeared in his left hand. His right hand was busily exploring his body under the coat.

The image on-screen was that of Thor, the way Peter had first met him. Cut, fit, with the body of a god, with close-cropped blond hair and a half-cape down his back. The camera panned lovingly over every inch of him as Peter watched appreciatively.

But still....something was off. Peter wondered for a moment, then realized what it was. He waved his hand, and the image blurred, before Thor rematerialized as he was now. Big, thick, solid and comforting, with the softneess of a teddy bear over that hard Uru-metal core. His hair grew out, and so did his beard, the latter braided in an intricate pattern that defiitely made Peter think of the old-timey Norse gods.

"Hello, Daddy," Peter breathed out under his breath. and blushed as he caught himself saying that. Even by himself, the truth of his feelings for Thor as he was now still embarrassed him, but they weren't gonna go away anytime soon.

If anybody found out he was doing this, they'd probably belt him one. And that was just for starters. But he couldn't help it; trying to hold everything in was just too much. And this was way more harmless than, say, sending out deadly flowers to turn the whole universe into goop.

Next to appear on-screen, sauntering onto the blank soundstage like the world's sexiest sitcom uest-star, was Captain America, Peter's first crush, in all his star-spangled glory. Old propaganda photos and drawings from the 40s had shown what Steve Rogers had looked like fresh out of the muscle machine, and even in the modern day, the guy'd had a habit of wearing clothes that were WAY too tight on him when he was off-duty.

Peter looked at the iage, and decided he preferred facial hair over a clean-cut military look. So he changed the channel, and in a burst of static, the image changed, to reflect Cap as he'd been five years ago, right before everything turned terrible. Longer, darker hair, still neatly styled, but now with a hint of freedom to it, and a beautiful golden-brown beard to match Thor's.

Thor and Cap were dressed in their costumes, looking every bit the superheroes they were, though Peter kept their faces free and unmasked. Both men stood face-to-face, perfect in their imperfection, looking natural, real, but no less beautiful becuse of it.

Star-Lord climbed onto his bed, his cock already stiffening as his coat fell open over his naked body. He smirked under his mustache, ready to make the daddy of all gay pornos with his magic actors. He tabbed a control on the wall and the lights dimmed, though the two men on TV stayed brightly lit, luminescent even. They were images, after all, and could look however he wanted them to look. Finally, on a whim, Peter gave them both their hammers. He put MJolnir, the smaller hammer, in Captain America's hand, and Stormbreaker, the one Groot and Rocker had helped to make, in Thor's.

This was as far as Peter was wiling to go with his powers. Creating images of real people that he could play with like action figures - or porn actors - may not be the most noble stunt in the world to pull, but compared to the shit Ego had pulled, Peter was still a fucking _saint_.

 _Better than the second biggest jackass you ever met ain't exactly the highest bar there, Pete,_ his conscience would tell him, the jerk.

 _You have the powers of a god, and that's the best you can think of to do with it?_ his shoulder-devil would ask him, the jerk.

Peter wished he didn't have these powers, but there they were, whether he wanted them or not, And sometimes - like last week with the Librarians, or that time with the purple Infinity Stone, which one was it again? - they came in pretty handy.

He'd also learned that if he didn't use them every now and again, even in little ways, they'd come out on their own with even the slightest excuse, like soda after you shake the can. And like soda after you shake the can, the more he held it in, the bigger the spray when it was finally released.

So he whipped it out - figuratively, and sometimes literally, like tonight - every now and again, in little ways, to vent. He had to be subtle with it, which meant he had to be creative. Granted, bringing his sexual fantasies to life like this wasn't the most low-key thing in the world, but that was why he made the TV instead of real-life holograms of his crushes.

A weird bug in the security cameras meant that while anyone watching the feed would see Peter make a TV and jack off in front of it, they wouldn't see what he was jacking off _to,_ and that kept his dirty little secret safe. Granted, most of the crew didn't watch the private bedroom feeds, but why take chances? Drax could be on monitor duty.

Or worse, Thor.

When he was satisfied, he leaned back in the darkness, spreading his legs and taking his aching cock in his hand as he started to address the images in front of him, a director giving instructions to his cast.

"Now kiss."

They did so. Hungrily, passionately. The two men's bodies pressed against each other, Thor's bigger, softer form pressing tightly against Cap's muscle-god body. Electricity crackled between the men's hammers, spreading up their bodies and passing from hunk to hunk as they kissed, until they looked like a pornographic Tesla coil.

Bolts of blue lightning streaked across their bodies, disintegrating their costumes in lines without hurting either man (because dammit, this was _his_ fantasy and magic hammer lightning could work whatever way _he_ wanted it to) until Cap was naked and Thor was only wearing that long, glorious red cape. Until he'd met Thor and Dr. Stange, Peter had no idea he even _had_ a cape kink.

Live and learn. _And then make a porno out of it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for cutting the porn off early, but this one took long enough to get out as it is. If I get enough interest in it, maybe I'll add on to it later, but as it is I kinda just want to get the story moving again.
> 
> On a related note, I've gotten tons of kudos for this one, and I'm super grateful! I've mostly been an X-Men writer my whole fanfic career, so branching out into the MCU, and specifically people who AREN'T Thor and Cap, has been fun and challenging.
> 
> This story is definitely continuing.


End file.
